i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
