And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
