His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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