i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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