who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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