I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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