we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
