my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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