All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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