After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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