ya dads aren't the best wingmen
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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