I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
COCAINE IS GR8
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
