Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
