she smelled like a LAN party
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
