I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i out mim tonsoeep
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