first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
