hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's paper in my vomit.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
