yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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