you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
