youre lurking in front of me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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