I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We left the knife in your bed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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