I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
