Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
