i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This baby is an asshole
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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