help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just want nice things and good sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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