he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
