the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
