I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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