He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
