At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
