Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Mom said you looked used
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
