I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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