You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
