So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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