Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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