he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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