somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
