Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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