I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
