How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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