She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You smell like stripper and shame
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
