Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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