Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
