That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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