Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have tasted many bathrooms
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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