Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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