I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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