I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize