Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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