Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
