Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
