Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
