my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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