Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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