Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies

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(317): View more from Indiana

The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic

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(847): View more from Illinois

He tried peeing out of the sunroof.

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(360): View more from Washington

That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.

(206): View more from Washington

You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.

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