i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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