I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize