do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
