to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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