even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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