WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
