he thought i was a dude.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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