i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
