Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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